Morrison’s strikes again

Wolf Kettler | December 9th, 2010 - 14:23

Coffee and a straight Croissant. Photograph © Wolf Kettler.

About fourteen months ago I wrote about Morrison’s dwarfish, gender confused Petit Parisienne.

Much to my satisfaction I have since noticed that Morrison’s have renamed their curiosity a French Stick. Okay, it should be a French style stick but so what?

Did somebody at Morrison’s read my blog and act? The least they could have done was to say “thank you, Mr. Kettler, for pointing this out, have a year’s worth of shopping on us”. You would think they appreciated a little help.

Now Morrison’s has done it again – make the impossible possible by creating a straight croissant. It is not just straight but with a belly or a hump, which would give it a hint of a crescent. No, it is just straight, much like their French Stick.

Croissants, much like Guglhupf, date back to the sieges of Vienna in 1529 and 1683 by the Ottoman empire. This historical aspect is important because of the shape of Croissants (and Guglhupf). I will burden you, dear Reader, with the details perhaps another time.

Croissant means crescent, as in the crescent moon. The name refers to the shape. If a Croissant is not (at least vaguely) crescent shaped, it is not a Croissant anymore. The straight crescent does not exist.

A supermarket till receipt. What can you expect for 28p? Photograph © Wolf Kettler.

As for the culinary experience, unpleasant, really. Then again, what else can you expect for 28p? Why the call it a ‘M’Pick’N’Mix Roll at the newly installed self-service checkout is a mystery.

First the Petit Parisienne, now the straight Croissant. I fear that under the benign image of Morrison’s an habitual, serial offender lurks.

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